sunny.

it is fabulous and sunny and warm(ish) here, finally, and its making me so happy!

and, making me not want to study, which is bad, since finals week is next week. i've got one project done, one project half done, and plan on starting studying for the two exams tonight....or maybe tomorrow. you know...soon.

but finals also mean it's almost spring break, and i'm looking forward to a break for sure, even though this is the first time since 9th grade that i'm not going somewhere for it. i have a permanent travel bug, i think traveling is my biggest passion and hobby, but unfortunately, traveling opportunities come few and far between when you are a broke-ass grad school student. a friend of mine lives in Phoenix, i'd like to try to get out there spring quarter for a bit, i really love it out there! but, for now, i will be heading back to Cleveland. since i get to see all my friends and family (and, my dogs), most of whom i haven't seen since Christmas, i'm pretty pumped all the same. hopefully it will be just as sunny when i'm home on break.

i think that most of the time, i am a pretty sunny person. maybe it sounds cheesy, but i truly make it my goal to be as nice to everyone as i can. 'be kind- everyone is fighting a harder battle than you' and 'treat others how you want to be treated' is kind-of a mix of things i try to live my life by, among others. in essence, life is hard. i want to make it easier on people.

i won't lie, though, it's not always easy. actually, it's kinda hard. probably harder because, admittedly, i am a sensitive person. the other day, my mom told me 'people take advantage of you, you know'. and i do know that. and that really sucks. to be honest, it's a whole hell of a lot easier to close myself off and not let anyone in. it's easier to be nasty, it's easier to not care, it's easier to not love, and sometimes i want to do that. it would save me a whole lot of pain and heartache.

but i don't think people who do that realize they don't just effect themselves when they do that. they effect the people who love them, who care about them, who are trying to be nice, who are trying to make them happy. it's a hard thing to think about. do you only love those who love you back? do you wait until they show it enough so that you feel safe enough to open up? or do you love just because you care? i don't know if there's a right answer. there's certainly an easier one.

i know this sounds kinda hippy-dippy granola head, but i do sincerely mean it. i think life is all about giving love, about making people happy. i hope The Beatles were right when they said 'and in the end the love you take//is equal to the love you make'.