opportunities.

hello hello.

this week was a lot of work, i had two exams, as well as a lot of homework. unfortunately for me, that homework has to be done on software only available on the OSU computers (STATA, SAS, if any of you are familiar...if not, they are statistical packages and computer programming software), so I have to take a trip up to campus anytime I feel like working on stuff. It's not the drive that's bad, it's the parking nightmare that I dread. I should have done some work this weekend, but after this week I didn't particularly do much....I'll take rest where I can get it, with finals coming up.

Two of my closest college friends, Natalie and Lauren, came down this weekend to celebrate Natalie's birthday. I haven't seen them since Christmas so it was wonderful to get to spend some time with them. I miss college a ton, mostly because of the fabulous friends I made there. Anyways, we went (along with some of Natalie's high school friends, who I adore) out for pizza and then to the piano bar Saturday night. I don't go out much anymore, and to be honest, i'm ok with that---but it was so much fun to go out with the girls. I'm excited to come home for Spring Break and get to see everyone again.

I went to a wake today for my great uncle, although I really hadn't seen him since I was too little to remember. It was a happy sort of wake, I mean as happy as anything like that can be. I was sorry I didn't really know Uncle Homer in life, because he seemed like a great guy. I didn't particularly know anyone there, except my grandmother. As I stood there, I realized that for a 22 year old, I've been to waaaaaay too many funerals and wakes. I do realize that part of life is death, probably better than you think. Even so....yuck. It never gets easier.

Thinking about life and accomplishments today (Uncle Homer was a pretty accomplished guy) made me think of a conversation I had with a friend the other day about "not missing any more opportunities in life"...for various reasons. I'm not really sure exactly what she was talking about, but I think it had to do with not taking career or life opportunities because of family, or a significant other, or wanting to stay in a comfort zone, etc.

I agree with her to a point. But aren't opportunities kind-of a two pronged thing? I see what one might mean about, say, being afraid to take a job in another city. But look at it this way: you have both the opportunity to take a job in another city, or the opportunity to go another path with your life too (even if that means staying put for the moment). I'm all for making the most out of your life, not sitting around doing what you've always done like a bump on a log- but since when does jumping at the first opportunity you get automatically equate to success? Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, going after the obvious opportunity, without really thinking about it, seems like the easy way out to me.

I know I'm rambling now, but does anyone get what I'm saying here? Every choice you make has two sides to it---two opportunities. Thus, you will always miss out on opportunities in one way or another. In your life you will always wonder about what would have happened if you would've made the other choice. If you don't take the job in another city, you might sit and wonder what would've happened if you did. But if you do take the job you'll probably wonder what would've happened if you passed on that particular opportunity. I think even if you're successful beyond your own imagination, you still think about it. What would life be like if I chose something else?